Its probably one of my biggest dream to have my own apartment in a city. Not in Jakarta precisely, but New York. Yeah right, that little big world’s wrapped up in a floating ship-liked complexes island.
Why is NY? No such a spesific reason. I just think that i love that place and in my only one short life i feel so rightful to be everywhere i want. Like those simple and modern box of walls with my own interior design. I’d like to know how it feel, just one moment in my life… 😀
And what will i do for living?
I’ve been thinking. My recent stuff: tax things, financial report, etc.. it’s probably useless. So I came up with my other things like writing and coffee. Sure thing, everyone need a coffee, right? 😀
I want to write a book. (I said it like a thousands time but, yeah, my book is not finished yet. *keplak*). My previous project is still flying out of nowhere but now i want to do something else, and it’s writing a kids book.
I like to draw and it’s good too. I once won a drawing contest before, when i was in high school. That was the first time i ever get big money for my own efforts. I think i’m capable of it. And with my writing skill, wild imagination, i think i could be the next Miss Potter, with my own masterpiece of ‘Peter Rabbit’.
Also, i do like coffee. And in NY, you can find hundreds of cafe’s that serves “the city which never sleeps”. I can merge on that one particular cafe, or building it my own. I learn and enjoying coffee. Much of the time. And I think it will benefits me someday. 😀
* * *
Enough with the dream. It’s time for self reflection.
What about now? Is it not enough?
I think i have a lot. Yeah I already am. Good fams, nice place to stay, wonderful job, all day holiday… Haha. Last one is the most incredible bless. Imagine how it feel to wake up early in the morning and totally got nothing attached in my brain. I mean it’s so much different from what i used to be when i was as an employee. I used to wake up in the morning with tons of problems at work, last day left over task, upcoming do’s, fear of yelling-demanding-chirping co workers, arrgghhh… I never liked being woke up in that morning.
I often whished for getting an accident while i was on my way to work, just to make me able to skip working with more ‘real’ excuses. Cause you know what, getting sudden-ill was too lame and ridiculous, and i used it too often. My boss never believed it, or at least surely doubted it, even with doctor’s letter on my hand. T___T
(And thank God, that accident i ever wished was never happen. ~__~)
And what now… voilla… I have my freedom. Enjoying my life. Every second of it.
But sometimes… *oke, i correcting it* MANYTIMES i feel kinda lost.
I had a job that makes me busy only at certain time. It’s like just one effective day in a whole month. And the rest of the days… it’s all holiday! Can you believe it? I have 29-30 days of holiday per month. For me, that’s super awesome!!!
And what did i do in that up-to-me time? Mostly for game and writing. I used to spent more in writing, but since i had a stuck on my line, i feel kinda spending more of my time in gaming. Yeah I know, that’s pathetic.
Sometimes it worries me a lot. I mean i’m young, twenties, and at a most productive age, why do i wasting my time on something useless?
Then i asked my dad. His answer surprised me, like always. He said, “It is better to stop when you feel really want to stop, rather than pushing your self to stop on something you like?”
Simple say, he just lay it down on my own responsibility. I mean, just do a game, as much as you want, i believe you know when to stop. Oke, Dad, i get it!!! >___<
That’s what i mean as lost. And one more regretness is that my religious life is getting worst. That’s what i’m calling unrespectful and unthankful for all the gift i’ve got. 😦
The place i live now is not big as what i’d been live last year. But it’s much cooler. Cool, i mean not so hot, cause it’s not in downtown. Smaller but cool too, i mean great! 😀
It’s not an apartment yet. Kind of pavilion. One bed room, bath room, kitchen, working station, etc.. all separated, nice terrace, and even a little fish pool. It’s so good and i love it live here. But still, i’m burning for another experience. 😀
*featured image is taken from http://www.miss-design.com/*